


Once More With Feeling

by thehighwarlockofbrooklyn



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: First Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-04
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-07-29 06:04:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7672915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehighwarlockofbrooklyn/pseuds/thehighwarlockofbrooklyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“But this is a moment made for dreaming.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Once More With Feeling

Adam Parrish was a thing of legends. A boy made up of twisting stories and an angry past. He was strung together by vulnerable pieces, soft and sharp edges.

Most people did not know Adam. His ambience exuded brilliance and an ethereal presence of other that made him unknowable. His melodic blue eyes always shone, within them exposing a truth so toxic and fierce even he did not want to believe its existence.

Adam was disparate from everyone around him. A boy grown from a hole in the ground that smelled like everything wrong with the world. Someone so different and foreign made for an interesting and terrifying semblance. Most people did not want to learn the curves and scars that made up someone like Adam. This did not bother Adam in the least.

Ronan, the snake with no venom, saw everything there was to see about Adam Parrish. Between his transcendent good looks, and his truthful personality, Ronan wanted to consume it all. He wanted to burrow beneath the surface of Adam’s being and follow the veins of stories, and the muscles to the truths that made up Adam Parrish. Ronan wanted to carve himself into this boy and implant his soul into the soil that carved Adam.

Adam could see in the set of Ronan’s shoulders and the calm in his eyes that there was want somewhere in Ronan that craved to burst through and consume him. Adam admired Ronan, in the way that he wanted him just as fiercely and just as consistently.

They both were two pieces of a complicated puzzle that had missing slots between their frames. Where Adam was sensible, Ronan was careless. Where Ronan was rough, Adam was fearful. Although their pieces did not fit directly together, their in-betweens could bring them closer.

Adam’s feelings for Ronan came so freely, that they were nearly invisible (even to Adam). Ronan’s came so naturally that they were completely see-through (Gansey would vouch for that). But the thing about their feelings for each other, was that they were so strong that they might implode.

Adam liked to think that Ronan wanted him in the sense that everything else felt irrelevant (Gansey’s subsequent demise, Blue’s irreversible curse, Noah’s deadness). But he knew that was irrevocably selfish on his part, to want someone to want you. It was like asking God to fix your broken pieces; impossible.

The funny part about Adam was that he wanted to be wanted, but did not allow himself to want back.

He would shiver at the eyes glued to the back of his head, blush at the closeness of their bodies, even press his cool fingers against Ronan’s fire hot flesh. But, he would tune out the beating of his rapid heart, ignore the sharpness of his wanton thoughts.

Ronan, on the other hand, let himself want as much and as carelessly as he could. His dreams allowed him images of beautiful tan skin with constellations of freckles over sharp cheekbones. He allowed the want to consume him, take over his mind and imagine things his body so desperately craved.

But Ronan Lynch did not allow himself to feel things. When his pulse buzzes in his ears because Adam is smiling at him he pretends it is because he wants to kiss him not because he loves him. When Adam brushes their shoulders together he pretends his cheeks burn because the room is too hot. Feelings are too much to handle. Attraction is more careful.

But some things cannot stay within the bounds of your mind. Ronan’s feelings were an oil spill, after all, and Adam’s want was as fierce as his eyes were blue.

***

The first time that Ronan let himself _feel_ was the same instance that Adam allowed himself to _want_.

***

Ronan’s hands found his hair, blunt nails scraping lightly against his scalp, and Adam let him take whatever he wanted.

Ronan’s lips were soft in a way that Adam did not expect from a boy with so many rough edges. His tongue tasted like coffee and cake, his hands a burning presence drifting down his body.

Adam was frozen in time. His brain stopped working and his lips took over. It was like he didn't know what to do, but knew exactly what he needed to do. His calloused hands found Ronan’s throat, his fingertips grazing the contour of his jaw, the ridges of his cheekbones, and the back of his shaved head. Adam wanted to feel everything there was to feel.

Ronan’s mouth was searing against his, hard and soft at the same time. Ronan’s hands were just as piercing on his hips, under his shirt, against his boiling skin. Adam wrapped his arm around Ronan’s neck, palm against his skull and pulled him in even deeper.

Ronan slid between the opening of his legs, falling into place against Adam’s pliant body. Their breathing was ragged and loud in the space between their lips. The gasps and moans and groans lost beneath the clank of teeth and the press of searching lips.

Their noses slid together as they struggled to deepen the kiss. It was like they were spilling their feelings into the dip of each other’s mouths.

The soft gasps of Ronan’s want almost like pleas of more. Adam’s moans and grasping hands silent and verbal permission for anything Ronan was willing to give.

Their kiss was so fast paced and honest that Adam’s heart beat incessantly in his throat, a physical reminder that this was infinitely real.

In less than the blink of an eye Adam was back in his own mind. He could imagine the whirlwind of thoughts buzzing in Ronan’s head, the look on Gansey’s unsuspecting face when he finds out, and the slow smile spreading upon his own.

Adam’s head, for once, was not a zoo of noise. It was the calm that came at night, it was the chill of the first day of winter and the heat of the first hour of summer. It was everything good that came with life, and Adam thought that maybe he could get used to this overwhelming feeling.

When he opened his eyes Ronan was watching him.

He seemed to be waiting for something that Adam knew would never come. He saw the shock in his eyes when Adam traced the outline of his soft lips, tracking the path his own lips had followed. Ronan looked down on him, his eyes a magnet that was attracted to his lips. He bit the inside of his cheek and leant in for another midsummer’s day, basking in the heat beneath a heavy tree.

Ronan’s lips were like a poem. Breathtaking and meaningful. They were the short kind of poem that made absolute sense, and no sense at all. His lips were mind-blowing and all consuming. Adam wanted to keep kissing them for the rest of his life.

“Am I dreaming?”

“I thought you knew when you were awake.”

“Yeah.” Ronan paused to take a sharp inhale of breath. “But this is a moment made for dreaming.”

“It doesn’t have to be just for dreaming.”

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Ta-daa! This was my first fic in like three years so I hope it wasn't too, too bad!


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